The Dreams and Dissatisfactions of Inanimate Objects #001 The Answering Machine

       All day long, all I do is take your calls. Nobody ever asks me if I like my job. Nobody cares if the Answering Machine likes remembering all your appointment reminders and Aunt Sally calling for the fifth time to ask if Steve got the job.  Nobody cares about the Answering Machine.
       You lazy people! When you are sitting around at dinner and the phone rings, you won't walk ten feet to pick it up. You all say, "Oh, just let the Answering Machine get it." What if it was Micheal calling to ask your daughter on a date? Or Tori is waiting to tell you her father has died? All they hear are those four droning rings. And none of them are happy or grateful when they here my voice, asking them to leave a message. They always say, "Oh, no. It's the Answering Machine." As if it's a bad thing!
       No one calls to see how I am doing. Nobody wants to know if the Answering Machine is sick or happy. No one thinks, "Gee, I wonder if Answering Machine is having a good day." You associate me with disappointment because you never hear the people you were calling for when I answer. When they were too lazy to pick up the phone, I was there for you. I answered your call. I listened to you anxiously asking your friend to call you back. You never even said hello to me!
       But no matter how I feel, I keep going. As long as there are telephones, I will be. This Answering Machine will go on in the face of trials and adversity. When all else fails, I A.M.