Dear Readers,
I must say that for the entire month of November, I will not be blogging. Instead, I will be working on a project for National Novel Writing Month. This is a program in which writers young and old all across America write a 50,000 word novel in one month (that is approximately 1,667 words per day). Since this will keep my creativity occupied enough, I will pause this blog until December when I will post some excerpts.
Thank you all.
e. j. elliot
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Friday, October 19, 2012
Modern American Armor
In a land where donning plumed helmets and shields and brandishing swords isn't socially acceptable and rescuing a maiden in distress in considered sexist, a girl has to wonder how she is to survive. The solution: modern American armor. So well disguised, this armor is undetectable to all except the wearer. For those of you who are questioning my sanity (or at the very least, wondering if my O.A.I.D. is acting up), I shall describe to you my self-made modern American armor.
First, my hat. Black, as to accommodate any outfit. The most useful aspect of this hat is to keep people from noticing my messy hair. Just tie it back, put on my hat and viola! No one can tell that I did not wash my hair that morning. Also, if you happened to by fighting a baby dragon, whose fire-breathing skills are minimal, and you didn't have a shield on you and the baby dragon flew over your head and blasted it's very weak fire at you- then just perhaps the flame would hit your hat. You could then take your hat off and avoid having a scorched scalp.
That is the first piece of my modern American armor.
Second, a hoodie. This is very versatile. If you were transported to a magical land in eternal winter (hey, it's happened before!), then a hoodie is very useful. If this land somehow abruptly changed to a dry, arid summer, then take the hoodie off and use it as a basket by tying up the ends. The possibilities never end with this piece of armor. Always keep one handy.
Next, a pen and notebook. It helps keep clues and suspects in order when solving a mystery. You can write down appointment reminders and positive reinforcement in it (you can do it EJ!). When you are bored, you can doodle or write in it. If you are about to die, you can write your last will and testimony in it. I always feel more prepared with this piece of armor.
Fourth (and this is a must have), M&Ms. Preferably the mini kind that come in those cylinder shaped cases that make the really annoying yet irresistible popping noise. If one wants to survive this crazy world, you first need energy. And what better way to get this energy than chocolate? (The answer: coffee, but that's beside the point). Having M&Ms handy boosts my confidence in any situation.
Lastly, a friend. Frodo had Sam. Jim Hawkins had Dr. Livsay. Chuck Noland had Wilson. If you are to have an adventure, bring a friend.
Thus concludes the synopsis of my armor.
First, my hat. Black, as to accommodate any outfit. The most useful aspect of this hat is to keep people from noticing my messy hair. Just tie it back, put on my hat and viola! No one can tell that I did not wash my hair that morning. Also, if you happened to by fighting a baby dragon, whose fire-breathing skills are minimal, and you didn't have a shield on you and the baby dragon flew over your head and blasted it's very weak fire at you- then just perhaps the flame would hit your hat. You could then take your hat off and avoid having a scorched scalp.
That is the first piece of my modern American armor.
Second, a hoodie. This is very versatile. If you were transported to a magical land in eternal winter (hey, it's happened before!), then a hoodie is very useful. If this land somehow abruptly changed to a dry, arid summer, then take the hoodie off and use it as a basket by tying up the ends. The possibilities never end with this piece of armor. Always keep one handy.
Next, a pen and notebook. It helps keep clues and suspects in order when solving a mystery. You can write down appointment reminders and positive reinforcement in it (you can do it EJ!). When you are bored, you can doodle or write in it. If you are about to die, you can write your last will and testimony in it. I always feel more prepared with this piece of armor.
Fourth (and this is a must have), M&Ms. Preferably the mini kind that come in those cylinder shaped cases that make the really annoying yet irresistible popping noise. If one wants to survive this crazy world, you first need energy. And what better way to get this energy than chocolate? (The answer: coffee, but that's beside the point). Having M&Ms handy boosts my confidence in any situation.
Lastly, a friend. Frodo had Sam. Jim Hawkins had Dr. Livsay. Chuck Noland had Wilson. If you are to have an adventure, bring a friend.
Thus concludes the synopsis of my armor.
Saturday, October 13, 2012
Raindrips
I could begin by writing very poetically about rain. I could give it a hundred metaphors and a hundred more personifications, but it is enough to say that I absolutely love rain. Maybe even more than sunshine. It's like the clouds decided to let their long, condensed fingers fall gracefully to the earth and-
Stop! I said I wouldn't torture you by going into all that, and I will hold to that promise.
All this to say, it should be of no surprise that I was sitting, listening to the rain. I had hoped to hear the relaxing raindrops hit the deck.
Drop. Drop. Drop.
And then faster as the rainstorm intensified.
Drrrrropopopopop. Drrrrropopopopopopop.
However I was dismayed. The more I listened, the more I realized that what was falling in my back yard did not drop. There was no doubt about it. This rain was as odd as on off-key marching band (oh, no! A simile!). I listen harder: Drip. Drip. Drip. These were not raindrops, they were raindrips! What did that mean? Raindrips? What should I do? I had never heard of raindrips before. I mused until the rain stopped. Then, feeling too poetical than what was good for me, I observed the puddles scattered about my backyard. The water looked like regular water. It smelled the same, felt the same- it even tasted the same! After thinking about it, I decided that no one would really care whether rain dropped or dripped if it was all the same in the end. However, it was a pleasant change.
Now I had better do some geometry homework before I become completely lost in the complex and wonderful land of poetics, alliterations, personifications, and... oh, never mind. I'll just bring a map.
Stop! I said I wouldn't torture you by going into all that, and I will hold to that promise.
All this to say, it should be of no surprise that I was sitting, listening to the rain. I had hoped to hear the relaxing raindrops hit the deck.
Drop. Drop. Drop.
And then faster as the rainstorm intensified.
Drrrrropopopopop. Drrrrropopopopopopop.
However I was dismayed. The more I listened, the more I realized that what was falling in my back yard did not drop. There was no doubt about it. This rain was as odd as on off-key marching band (oh, no! A simile!). I listen harder: Drip. Drip. Drip. These were not raindrops, they were raindrips! What did that mean? Raindrips? What should I do? I had never heard of raindrips before. I mused until the rain stopped. Then, feeling too poetical than what was good for me, I observed the puddles scattered about my backyard. The water looked like regular water. It smelled the same, felt the same- it even tasted the same! After thinking about it, I decided that no one would really care whether rain dropped or dripped if it was all the same in the end. However, it was a pleasant change.
Now I had better do some geometry homework before I become completely lost in the complex and wonderful land of poetics, alliterations, personifications, and... oh, never mind. I'll just bring a map.
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