I saw a dead butterfly today.
It was completely dead.
Dead I hate that word.
Its wings were ragged and the yellow was fading.
The body was crumpled and stiff.
Dead It's not fair.
I know all butterflies die.
Why should this one get an exception?
Dead It's such an ugly thing.
I don't think butterflies were meant to die.
They shouldn't rot at the side of the road.
Dead It should never be called the end.
Nobody draws pictures of dead butterflies.
They are always alive and flying.
Dead I wish, I wish.
The butterfly was born, lived, and died.
And no one saw it.
Dead But I did.
I didn't stop when I saw this butterfly.
I hardly gave it a thought when I passed it.
Dead I hate that word.
But now I remember the butterfly.
I see it in my dreams.
Alive A beautiful yellow.
It flies higher and higher then disappears between the clouds.
It smiles right before that.
Alive And blows me a kiss.
I like the ending, but you should watch out for abstract words like beautiful and hate. They're used so much that Rey almost lose meaning. Also, since dead is such a harsh word and you use it so often, I recommend either using a different word to describe the butterfly (maybe something not even associated with death. Then, as you describe the butterfly, people will understand that "oh, it's dead! Wow..." and it will add depth to the poem. Also, when you repeat words, they lose meaning. So unless that's what you want, then change it.
ReplyDelete-- Candanceoai;)